


Interlude: Secrets and Sharing

by pansexualfandommess (redvelvetrose), SincereJester



Series: Rise of Ben Solo [4]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Armitage Hux Has Feelings, Armitage Hux Has Issues, Armitage Hux Needs A Hug, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-29
Updated: 2020-01-29
Packaged: 2021-02-27 12:48:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,584
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22457497
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/redvelvetrose/pseuds/pansexualfandommess, https://archiveofourown.org/users/SincereJester/pseuds/SincereJester
Summary: Hux is still reeling from the emotional outpouring he witnessed. Seela does her best to comfort him and he's having none of it at first. Also, Hux has a (very!) personal secret that may partially explain why he's such an ass at times.
Relationships: Armitage Hux/Original Female Character(s)
Series: Rise of Ben Solo [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1586332
Kudos: 7





	Interlude: Secrets and Sharing

"You did good out there, Armie," Seela said as they headed back to the hangar to continue inventory and putting together supply packs for those leaving soon. She put a hand on his back in a gentle manner. "I'm proud of you. You lasted through the whole thing."

Hux didn't share Seela's opinion of lasting through the memorial, and wasn't feeling anything akin to pride for attending. His initial reaction was to hide and ruminate over the churning mix of emotions he had felt. Instead he had swiftly replaced that impulse with his almost obsessive need for order and control, channeling it into his desire to get back to work. Focusing on the task at hand would distract him not just from the event, but from his concerns about his future. He bit back his snide remark, though--he knew Seela wasn't mocking him. Just thinking about Seela's constant encouragement and consistent kindness toward him and Millie should have been some comfort, but for some reason it seemed to make him more melancholic. "Thank you," he answered simply. 

"Laertes and Grahen are planning on leaving this afternoon, so we should focus on getting their supplies ready. They're heading to Corellia to try and help rebuild there. Apparently the First Order kind of trashed Coronet City a few years back and they haven't had much of a chance to rebuild," Seela said, looking over her datapad. "We need to remember to give them extra fuel since they may have trouble finding a safe place to land within the city." 

Hux just nodded while groaning inwardly, noting the addition on his own data pad. Perhaps he should just head back; he doubted he could face the detailed minutiae of others' plans and casual mentions of the First Order's previous conquests for the next hours. 

Seela blinked at him, noting the tense set of his shoulders. His face was very carefully neutral, but she had already figured out that he nearly always had that mask of indifference on. "Hey," she said, hand resting on his shoulder, coaxing him to turn and look at her. His face was bland, but his eyes gave him away. "You okay, Armie?" 

He clenched his jaw unconsciously before forcing himself to relax. He didn't know if it was Twi'leks in general, or just a personal quirk of Seela's, but he was getting used to her need to physically touch him in some way, especially when she was concerned. He was more irritated that he didn't have a proper answer to her query. He shrugged. "I'd really rather concentrate on the task at hand." 

"If you're sure," she replied, hand straying to touch the side of his face. "If you need a moment to collect yourself, it's okay. I can get started if you want to go check on Millie," she offered, smiling at him softly. She'd already discovered that Armie thrived on organization and order, but even someone like him needed a breather now and again; and that memorial had been... well... quite memorable. 

A moment; he considered that as he stared at the seemingly endless stacks of materials. What was he doing here, really? It all appeared so trivial and pointless suddenly. He sank down on one of the crates, crumpling into the thought. What was it Ben Solo had said? 'Grieving'. Was that what he was feeling; grief? Grieving the--how did Ben put it? --the versions of ourselves that might have been? Missed opportunities? Or maybe he was just feeling lost and directionless, unsure of what to do without guidance and structure for the first time in his existence. 

"Do you... want to talk about it?" Seela ventured, sitting next to him and putting a hand on his knee this time. Touch came naturally to her, both as a Twi'lek and just as herself. Sometimes, she almost thought that she could sometimes feel what the person was feeling through the contact. A bit of a fantasy, to be sure, but it seemed to work. 

Hux regarded Seela blankly, as if he didn't quite hear her. He didn't know how to express the thoughts and feelings he was having, and even if he did, he felt this wasn't the place to do so. "Maybe I should take a moment," he murmured. He doubted it would help, but he didn't know what else to do. 

"Come on. Let's go back to the alcove for a moment, hmm?" she suggested, patting his back to prompt him into standing. She had no idea what had brought this on, but he was clearly having a bit of an emotional crisis. 

Hux stood, protesting as Seela handed off their pads and led him away. "We've got work to do..." 

"It'll still be there when we get back," she assured him with a smile. "Come on. You'll feel better afterwards, I promise." Together, they walked back to their alcove, though she wasn't sure when she started thinking of it as "theirs" rather than "hers". Once inside, she sat Armie down on his spread bunk sitting across from him on her own. Millie, who'd been sleeping on his pillow, chirruped and stretched, then proceeded to head butt her way on to her owner's lap. 

Out of habit, Hux began to pet the cat. Without his noticing, his vision grew glassy and tears began to spill down his sallow face. Like an open floodgate, the streams increased until he shook with pent-up silent sobs. 

Seela scooted forward on her bed, sitting on the very edge, leaning forward to rest her hands on his shoulders. She held him steady, but offered no comment, no attempt to stem the tide. He needed to let the floodgates open, she thought. And it was better that he do it here in privacy than in front of an audience of strangers. Even Millie grew still curled up against his chest, purring like a speeder engine. 

As abruptly as it started, Hux stopped, pulling away, angrily wiping at the tears and sniffling. His expression was wary, guarded even while being sorrowful, almost as if he would bolt at any sudden movement. “Stop sniveling, you pathetic coward,” he growled at himself under his breath, the tone not entirely his own. 

"Hey... hey, hey, it's all right," she said in the softest voice she could manage. "This is good, Armie... don't bottle it up. You're only going to hurt yourself keeping this in." 

"Stop calling me that!" Hux yelled. Millicent started and slunk away, ears back in alarm. "It's not all right! None of this is all right!" He stood, hands balled into fists at his sides, tense and ranting. "I shouldn't have gone to that thing! I shouldn't be here at all! I-I should be dead! Dead, like the rest of them, and no one would even miss us... miss me... It's all a lie, my whole life, a lie...and-and--I'm a fraud, a pitiful, craven weakling! A fraud!" 

Seela, however, did not shrink away from this outburst, remaining where she was. "Are you?" she asked blandly. reaching out to him, though stopping short of touching him this time. "Sit down, freykaa," she said, specifically using a Rylothi phrase to try and pull him out of his spiral. 

He remained as he was, glaring at her, chest heaving from the effort to breathe. "I am," he insisted. "It's all a sham. Fake. Do you even know who I really am, Captain Seela Hirani?" 

She straightened, indicating the seat he had yet to take. "Why don't you have a seat and tell me then?" she said in a calm, gentle voice. 

That seemed to snap him out of his rant as he stammered, "I-- I can't." 

"Sure, you can," she assured him with a smile. "I promise you, so long as you aren't the Emperor Reborn, it's not as bad as you think." 

His face fell. "You'll probably think it just as bad, if not worse," he retorted. "I can't because you'll hate me, and rightfully so." He turned toward the sulking cat, offering his hand to her in apology for frightening her. He was resigning himself to Seela's inevitable shock and rejection of him, but he supposed he deserved it. His deception hadn't been intentional, but that was beside the point. 

"Freykaa, I doubt I will hate you. I mean, I have no place to judge. My parents are smugglers and pirates... or they were before I was born. Things change. People change. I know who you've been since we've met... that's who matters to me. Not whomever you were before." 

"Others won't be as generous, I assure you," Hux snorted. "It's one thing to be forgiving, but quite another to be ignorant or in denial." He turned from coaxing Millicent to face her. "Captain Hirani, I..." He didn't know how to continue; he hardly understood what he was trying to explain to her. 

"Take your time. Sit down. Try to relax a bit," she instructed him. Millie groomed her paws and jumped on the bed, flopping down dramatically. 

"I'd rather stand, thank you," he replied politely, his innate sense of propriety surfacing. His stance was still formal and stiff, but not aggressively so. He was steeling himself for what was coming. Where should he begin? "When we were first introduced," he started, "you assumed I was a former First Order stormtrooper; that I was like the others who had deserted. I told you then--truthfully--that I had been in charge of troops, but I wasn't a stormtrooper. And I had been a spy for the Resistance; that had been the truth, too. But I hadn't become so due to some sort of altruism or idealistic epiphany; I committed treason for far more selfish motives." 

She nodded to indicate that she was listening, but said nothing to stop this confession. She had a feeling she knew where this was going. She'd known, of course, but it was nice to see that he was telling her himself rather than continue his deceit by omission. 

"To explain," Hux went on, clearing his throat. "I was part of an Imperial remnant that fled to the Unknown Regions after the fall of the Empire. This was a contingency plan designed by the Emperor himself, to establish a new society without the failings of its predecessor; the First Order. I was reared on the truth that we were destined to wipe away the corrupt, chaotic reign of Republic elite and their inane nostalgia for legends and myths, using our superior military acumen and technology. Every single effort was in support of that belief, and we obeyed it without question. 

"I was among the highest levels of those selected for the mission. I was given my first command when I was just a child, and I oversaw the most important projects for decades: the stormtrooper indoctrinations, Starkiller Base, all of them were mine. I commanded the entire First Order." 

Hux stared at Seela. "I gave the command to destroy the Hosnian system. I hunted down every Resistance ship that fled from D'qar; I ordered the attack on your flagship. Under my orders, we chased you to Crait using the tracking tech developed by my crew. It was my fighters took out your defenseless transports one by one. All those people you were mourning at that memorial? Their deaths were because of me." Hux looked away. "You'd think that would make my turning traitor understandable, even laudable. But that wasn't my motive at all. It was rivalry that drove me to it." 

"Rivalry with who?" she asked calmly, as though completely unperturbed by his admission. "If you were so high up in the order of command, as you say, there would have been very few people who rivaled you in terms of power." More pieces of the puzzle were coming together. 

"Kylo Ren." Hux began to pace. "My position was secure before he appeared." 

"I imagine he was a humongous pain in the ass," she nodded sagely, hoping her deadpan serious tone would make him laugh, or at least smile. When he didn’t, she sighed softly reaching out to touch the back of his hand. "OK, so you spied on him and aided us because you hated him. You could have just tried to sabotage him from within. But you chose to work with the Resistance. Why?" 

"Because it became more than just a power struggle," he explained. "The journey through the Unknowns had been harrowing; not all of us survived it. Supreme Leader Snoke had orchestrated the formation of the First Order from the start; we thrived under his guidance, readying ourselves for the moment when we would conquer the galaxy. Snoke radiated power; no-one questioned his vision. We were unified under a single purpose: eliminate the New Republic and its bastard child, the Resistance. When Kylo Ren appeared, all of that changed. Our leader became distracted, obsessed with forgotten characters from folklore and determined to hunt down the so-called Jedi Master Luke Skywalker. It superseded all else...to the detriment of the First Order. 

"Despite his assertions otherwise, it was obvious that Kylo Ren murdered Snoke and seized control. He was unstable and had already cost us too much, and his personal vendetta for Skywalker threatened any possibility of victory from the start. Losses on both sides were high enough, though, to allow us the chance to retreat back to the Unknowns. There was at least a chance of recovering from the defeats and regain our advantage--if we consolidated our remaining assets and returned to our primary goal. 

"Supreme Leader Kylo Ren had no intention of doing so. For some time, I and the others thought it had become his personal whims that had changed our mandate...until Exegol." Hux stopped his pacing, falling silent. 

"Until you realized the Emperor was involved," she finished the thought for him. "Until it became more about metaphysical power-grabbing rather than bringing any actual order." 

"The First Order was never intended to be a return of the Empire," Hux elaborated. "We were an organization based on military and political might, not personality or mysticism. At Exegol we were supplanted with the revelation of the Sith Eternal Fleet and their cult of Palpatine, not as Emperor, but as immortal god." He shook his head. "It was…intolerable. A betrayal of our entire purpose. And Ren became even more unstable, determined to maintain his own dominion over the First Order. So..." He shrugged. "I sought to remove both him and this 'Emperor Reborn' entirely." 

"And you, as General, had the best information to pass on to the Resistance. We might not represent your efforts, but we were informed by reality rather than dead would-be gods" she nodded. "I don't think I would call that entirely selfish. Even if you only wished to depose Ren at first, at least you had enough good sense to see that a return of the Sith Eternal Empire would not bode well for us or the First Order." 

"I didn't care about the Resistance at all," Hux shot back. "I wanted the position for myself. I hadn't even intended to leave; the only reason I'm alive is because I was taken hostage while I was releasing Dameron and the others." 

"Again; then why choose spying for the Resistance as your mode of treachery? You could have done anything else. Sabotage equipment and alter the holos to show someone else doing it. Change missives from Ren and other officers to send them against each other. You're a brilliant strategist, you could have done something else to hurt Ren," she pointed out, holding his wrists and gently pulling him closer to her, looking up at him from her seated position. 

"But I couldn't; that was the problem. The Sith Eternal officers might have been fanatics but they weren't fools, and Ren was powerful in ways that I couldn't counter. I turned to the Resistance to draw them--specifically that girl, Rey--to us, instead, in the hopes that they would eliminate Ren after he had dealt with the new threat to his supremacy. Didn't work, of course, and now I've lost everything." 

"You haven't lost everything. You're alive and whole. You have your beloved cat. You're not starving to death or sleeping in the mud. You have friends here, myself included. We're not just going to cast you out into the void to make it alone," she assured him, squeezing his hands. 

Hux froze. Did Seela not understand the extent of his loss? He stared down at her hands gripping his, and for the first time heard what she was saying. His survival hadn't erased his past actions by any means, but he had survived. This was a chance to reexamine his life, the freedom to determine his own destiny. Even more, she was offering him something that he had never truly had: someone who cared about him, for his own sake; who willingly and unconditionally extended a hand in friendship and compassion. 

Seela went on. “I’ll allow that you lost much in the way of personal power, but power’s a fickle friend. It takes everything you have to get it and to keep it. And in the end, power always abandons you. There would always be someone younger and hungrier coming up behind you.” 

Hux nodded, hearing the truth of that observation, too. He had always thought that was what he wanted: power. Power had been key to his survival in the First Order, his survival from his abusive father. It was all he had known. He had clung to his power with an addictive need, ruthlessly eliminating any threat to it, only to lose it all in the end. But Seela was right: he was alive, and still had some resources and, even more importantly now, support. He had all the power he needed: power over his own choices and fate. 

Seela smiled a little, seeing him relax slightly. "Come on, freykaa... sit down next to me," she tugged at his arm gently until he sat down, sliding her arm around his waist once he was sitting. "It's all right, Armitage," she whispered to him, leaning her head on his shoulder, one of her lekku pressing lightly along his spine. 

Hux appeared to melt into her embrace with a mixture of exhaustion and relief. For several long moments, they merely sat together in silence until he stirred. "So... how long have you known who I am?" he asked quietly. 

"Pretty much since I met you. I knew that Finn and Poe had grabbed our spy on their way back. And I've seen pics of you on holos. It wasn't that hard to make the connection with that knowledge and with what you told me when we met," she smiled. "Still, I'm really glad you decided to tell me on your own. You know, before things between us go any further." 

Hux pulled back, looking at her questioningly. "What 'things'?" 

She smiled and leaned forward, kissing the corner of his mouth gently. "I think you can guess, General," she purred with a rather cat-like expression. 

"Yes, I can," he whispered softly, his cheeks blossoming with color. "But please don't ever mention my former rank again." 

"Armitage," she amended, eyes sparkling at him. "You're cute when you blush." 

Her comment only seemed to encourage a deeper shade. "Not that, either...What's that Twi'lek word you called me? That would do." 

"Freykaa," she supplied for him her smile widening. "Do you know any Twi'leki?" 

Hux shook his head. "I just assumed it was Twi'leki. 'Freykaa'...what does it mean?" 

"Beloved." She sat back slightly to gauge his reaction. 

"Oh," he replied blankly, then blinked in surprise, smiling shyly. "Oh!" 

She kissed his cheek, one hand smoothing his hair back from his brow. "I can call you freykaa if you like, since you don't seem to like Armie or Armitage." 

"I'd like that," Hux replied, almost to himself. It suddenly occurred to him that they were completely ignoring their shift at the depot, and wondered if anyone would come to take them to task. He sincerely hoped not, especially now. Before they continued, though, he felt to compelled to be completely certain on another point. "Captain... Seela," he asked, using her first name for the first time since he'd learned it, "Are you sure about this? Not that I'm, ah, reluctant, but, as you know who and what I am, you must know that associating with me in the future is likely to be dangerous, and I won't have you to suffer on my account." 

"A bit of danger never scared me," she assured him. "Bounty hunters, First Order zealots, Republic revenge-seekers..." she shrugged, as though none of those things were a real problem. "They have to find us first... and I'm not letting anyone take you from me." 

"More than a bit of danger, I should think," Hux countered, but he was touched by her response. He was used to loyalty, but not arising from obvious affection. Nor was he used to his own awakening feelings toward the Twi'lek. Her easy acceptance of him, even from the start, was still somewhat baffling to him, but there was no denying their mutual attraction now. For once he threw caution to the wind. He moved back toward her, brushing her cheek. "Nothing that we can’t face...together." 

"Now you're talking..." she smiled, leaning her face into his hand. "Now, do we want to get back to work or maybe... take a little more time to ourselves?" 

Even though Seela was offering him an easy out, he was well aware that neither of them wanted to stop exploring this new-found relationship. This was almost completely new territory for him -- not the physical sensations, of course; rather the mutual attraction was novel. He didn't recall a single time that he had been involved in anything remotely romantic; the nature of life in the First Order actively discouraged much of that sort of thing, and he had other reasons to curtail that type of interest. Now that he thought about it, the closest relationship he recalled having was a certain kinship with Phasma. They were very similar in personality, but while they had mutual admiration for each, it had been strictly platonic. 

Seela was completely different in comparison. He found himself being astonished by the intensity of his attraction to her... and ambivalent. Just the memory of their brief kisses was already causing a reaction, which otherwise would have caused him to reflexively stop. But this time, with her, he found that he didn't want to stop, not in the least. He wanted to try. 

She slid her fingers through his hair; it had taken to falling across his brow since he lacked whatever First Order shellac he had used before to keep in place. It was actually a bit wavy, refusing to tuck neatly behind his ear or stay out of his eyes. It was kind of adorable actually and made him look far younger than he was. The rough, reddish stubble along his jawline saved him from looking too boyish, though. 

He watched her enjoy playing with his hair; the feeling was ticklish and made him smile. He wondered vaguely what her skin felt like, especially her lekku, and found himself blushing again. Her golden eyes were shining, and the normal blue of her complexion was dusky. "You are so beautiful," he murmured huskily. 

Her eyes met his again, a slow smile spreading her lips. "Thank you. You're quite handsome yourself. I was just thinking how soft your hair is," she admitted. 

"Must feel a little odd," he commented offhand. "Well, perhaps not odd, really; just...different." 

"Not odd at all. No more than feeling Millie's fur is." She slid her nails along his scalp gently, trailing down to nape of his neck and then sliding back up to repeat the gesture. 

A small gasp escaped him as his eyes closed in pleasure at the contact. Maybe Twi'leks had extra sensitivity in their fingertips, but it felt unexpectedly amazing. 

That small indication of pleasure encouraged her. She leaned closer, kissing him softly. If he had any experience, she assumed it would have been of the practical kind rather than the romantic kind. She wanted to go slow with him. "You can touch me too, if you like," she offered, noting that he still had his arms held somewhat rigidly at his sides. 

Slowly, almost timidly, he reached up and brushed her cheeks with his hands. "You'll have to show me," he whispered. 

She kissed him once more, guiding his hands along her lekku, teaching him how to trace them from skull downwards. The sensation of his trembling caress felt wonderful and she found herself arching against him eagerly. "Quick study," she laughed softly, pleased when his blush deepened. Seemed he was unused to praise of any kind. "That feels amazing, freykaa," she whispered, nuzzling against his neck, kissing a line along his pulse up to his ear and the tender spot just behind it. One hand rested against his chest, feeling his heartbeat quicken. 

Her lekku were softer and more pliable than he had anticipated; the sensation was utterly erotic. He continued his sweep down over her lekku to her back and shoulders. Despite the barrier of their clothing, the contact was intimate and Hux felt the effects. It was like he had been starved for it, and he wanted to pursue it with reckless abandon. 

Sheer want cascaded through her, pooling low in her belly. She stood for just a second and gracefully perched herself on his lap, facing him, either leg on the outsides of his. Using his shoulders for leverage, she arched her back and started to very slowly roll her hips against him. 

Hux gasped at the contact, leaning back against the stone wall for support. Mouth agape, he watched her move, her face a picture of aroused enjoyment. 

She could feel him starting to get hard against her and she smiled, licking her lips at him as she leaned in for a kiss, deepening it eagerly. 

Hux closed his eyes as their mouths met, a small moan escaping him. Heat and desire were making his blood pound, his heart racing...and suddenly a searing pain shot through the stiffest part of his body. He tore his face away with a choked yelp, scrambling to remove the startled Twi'lek from on top of him as a wave of panic and nausea caught him. 

Seela gave a small yelp as she suddenly found herself on her heels stumbling back slightly. Hux's face had gone from pink to greenish alarmingly quickly. "Are you all right?" she asked with no small amount of panic. Had she hurt him somehow? It wasn't as if she'd never been with a human male before, but maybe she'd missed something? "Armitage, take a breath. What's wrong?" 

Bent nearly in half, Hux staggered to his feet and lurched to the fresher locker. He slammed the door control, barely waiting for the panel to slide open before throwing himself through it and snapping behind him. Muffled grunts and groans of pain were audible through it, leaving Seela frozen in shock and confusion. 

Seela blinked and sat down on his bunk, reaching out to pet Millicent, who was obviously as concerned as she was. Despite the sounds of agony coming from the fresher, she resisted the keen urge to check on him for as long as she could. After several minutes, however, she rose and knocked on the door. "Should I grab a medic?" she asked worriedly. 

A half-strangled string of obscenities came through the door, but they were at least coherent. "No!" Hux hissed, "Not necessary...a moment, please..." 

"If you're sure..." she said, drifting back. His tone did not assure her in the least. Millie didn't believe him either, jumping from the bed and starting to claw at the door, meowing for her owner. 

The noises settled, until the sound of the sanitation cycle filtered through the panel over Millie's protests. The door slid back, revealing a pale, shaken Hux leaning on the doorway. "This has not been a good day," he muttered, smoothing down his clothing with a trembling hand and straightening up. "My apologies," he went on. "I didn't mean to frighten you; I hadn't anticipated..." He cleared his throat. "Seela, I am very sorry." 

"Don't be sorry. You haven't done anything wrong," she assured him, reaching out to gently grasp his wrist. "Please, can you sit down and explain to me what happened?" 

As soon as he sat down, Millie leapt up to rub against his hand for pets and reassurance. He scratched her between her ears and sides of her face, patting and smoothing her sides until the cat curled up against him, purring. "I'm all right," he rushed to assure her. "I wouldn't had started what we were doing if I thought..." He was blushing again, and stammered. "I just...I haven't..." 

She had assumed that he had simply come too quickly and he was embarrassed, but that didn't explain his sickening pallor before he'd run off or the sounds of pain after. "Take a deep breath," she advised him, placing her hand over his. "Whatever it is, I won't judge you I promise." 

Hux just shook his head, miserable. "I don't think I can do, ah, what we were doing, again. Ever. Ever again." He sighed. "Please believe me, it isn't you. It's a... personal problem." 

That only confused her more. "Okay," she said slowly despite her immediate desire to protest that idea. It wasn't he hadn't wanted her; he had, she'd felt the proof of it herself. "But... can you at least explain to me why? You wanted me... up until about ten minutes ago..." 

He lifted his head, jaw tense. "A side effect, from a childhood injury," he stated flatly. "I can't...well, I can, but not without a great deal of pain." 

She swore softly in Twi'leki, hand squeezing his. "Oh, freykaa... oh, I'm so sorry. If I'd known it would hurt you, I never would've-" she stopped herself short, her other hand immediately stroking his hair in a soothing manner. "That must be awful for you... to never experience pleasure like that... without there being pain..." 

"By the time it was evident in adulthood, it was... deemed unimportant," Hux stated. "It was a poor assumption on my part, to think it wouldn't be present this time. Frankly, I've never experienced anything like this...Not with..." He fell silent again. "I just hadn't considered the possibility, that's all, and I hoped that it would be significantly different enough from my previous attempts that it wouldn't occur." 

"I'd say it's important now, don't you think?" she said softly. "Have you seen a medic for it? A human one, not a medical droid. I doubt a First Order medical droid would consider such a thing necessary." 

"Seela," Hux replied gently. "I didn't mean to...deceive you, or disappoint you. You are beautiful, and kind, and... I very much wanted this. I want...us. It's not that it's unimportant, it's impossible. The damage was done too long ago." 

“Hey...” she cupped his face, leaning in to kiss him gently. “Just because you were injured as a kid, doesn’t mean that you and I can’t be us,” she assured him, placing another kiss on his brow. “We’ll figure it out. But you didn’t answer my question.” 

"The health of the First Order officers were of the upmost importance, but correcting this was deemed unnecessary. The damage was already done, as I said, and I was capable of fulfilling my duties. It simply wasn't a consideration...before." He looked at her bleakly. "I never imagined it being a part of my life--wanting to be with someone, wanting this. Truthfully...until a few days ago, I hadn't even considered being alive through it to get to this situation." 

“You should visit Kalonia before she hauls off. She’s an excellent doctor. Was General Leia’s personal physician for more than thirty years. She’d be able to tell us for sure if anything can be done to ease you.” She rested her head on his shoulder, one arm around his back. “Whatever the answer is, it won’t change what we have. But we both want each other and if there’s the slightest chance that we can make love the way we want to, we’d be fools not to look into it.” 

Hux fought the urge to dismiss Seela's advise, if only not to have false hope. But what she brought up was true, and he wouldn't lose more than perhaps a bit of dignity at most for just asking. Hopefully, there'd still be enough time before tomorrow to at least broach the subject with her. He nodded. 

She smiled kissing his temple. "It'll be all right, freykaa. We'll work it out okay?" 

He turned his face toward her, expression solemn. "I love you," he stated, as if he was both realizing the meaning of the words and making a vow. 

She hadn't expected him to express such a sentiment. She suspected he felt as much, but Armitage was such a contained, proper person that she never considered that he would voice his emotions to her so swiftly. She actually laughed in shock for a second before catching him in a sweet kiss. "I love you, too freykaa."


End file.
